Where do i start? So many words come to the forefront, pushing and shoving, creating this indiscernible din of white noise. A word gets pushed out here and there, confusing me. No clear lines here, simply racing thoughts.
I jogged today, something I haven't done in a while. I jogged whilst watching Black Swan; taunting me to push to the bones. ( Read more... )

Decided to consume Ben and jerrys ice cream and a nos early this morning. There goes my calories for the day. I have 50 calories left to consume and that's going to be from fruit. I am not going to go over my count just bc I decided to be a fat ass. Good thing I have a busy day today. Boyfriend won't be able to notice my lack of consumption.

Posted ( Read more... )

Restricting thoughts are impaling my brain. I've been trying to et healthy, eat 1450 but I keep eating 2000. My brain is starting to rationalize that I should just not eat since I can't seem to eat 1450. Fuck. One more week of seriously attempting to eat 1450. If I can't do that it's fasting for me.

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New nail polish. Tightlacing. Quit le job. Interview this Saturday for a new one. Finally got my paperwork in for school; waiting to hear back from them. Channeling my inner dita Von teese. She's my height ;5'3) and has a boob job (which I'm considering). I feel a metamorphosis. Which is pleasantly glamorous. Change of diet and incorporating ( Read more... )

I had posted earlier, a simple guess my weight but I feel I ought to introduce myself. The names Alexandria. I've had an eating disorder pretty much my entire life amongst other fucked up aspects: DCF, multiple placements, bipolar, SI, etc. It all becomes superfluous after living it for so long. If you wanna know anything just hit me up

Height: 5'3

( Read more... )

( guess my weight )

“According to the boys’ descriptions, Lux has lost weight, though we couldn’t tell through the binoculars. All sixteen mentioned her jutting ribs, the insubstantiality of her thighs, the one, who went up to the roof with Lux during a warm winter rain, told us how the basins of her collarbones collected water. A few boys mentioned the acidic taste ( Read more... )

Back on a health kick. Staring at this girl at work has me craving fatness curves and bones rather than just bones and needless to say I'd like to redo the Spartan race and work my way up to the top. I have a vision in my head of long champagne blonde hair, my natural curves, slim waist and slim calves clad in tattoos. Underarmour exercise gear and ( Read more... )

Needless to say that last post does not do any justice to how I really am right now. I'm knawing my way through a lollipop and feelig like I'm in Yankee candle whilst doing it. My stomah shrunken as it is does not enjoy the inhalation of air I am doing whilst consumig this strawberry lollipop. The clouds outside scream rain to me and my cat is on ( Read more... )

I took two ephedra pills then came home and started drinking. Needless to say I'm drunk and hyper right now. It's an odd mix and my mind keeps flashing garish things at me. The only reason I haven't sliced is because I don't want to see my boyfriends reaction.

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